HA!

That's often my first reaction when I open up the daily
Calendar Section in the Los Angeles Times in the wee dark
hours of each morning. This Monday morning's edition was
no exception. Matea Gold reports that celebrities are
taking their egoist rants about each other to the public
stage and often rue the day they ever discovered Twitter.
No longer do we need the paparazzi to hide in the bushes
hoping to get a shot of celebrity self-sabotage.
Superstars and those seeking superstardom have now cut out
the middle man and publicize their own misguided emotional
reactions to the events of their daily life. And they're
getting quite good at self-destruction within 140
characters or less!

The latest celebrity feud to emerge out of the
Twittersphere is the battle between Perez Hilton and Demi
Moore. The two are duke-ing it out on Twitter over two
posts by Hilton about Tallulah Willis' wardrobe. Perez
thinks it's inappropriate for a 15-year old and showed
photos to illustrate his point. Moore vigorously came to
her daughter's defense claiming Perez is violating child
pornography laws. Perez attacks Moore personally with a
barb about menopause and Moore pushes Hilton again on his
inappropriate exploitation of underage tushies threatening
legal action. The spat goes on from there. The article
shines light on other outbursts on the Twitter stage from
Kirstie Alley, Ryan Seacrest, Mark Cuban and others.

What makes for an entertainment today, whether it be in the
LA Times, Twitter, TMZ, Access Hollywood or any other media
that follows the celebrity life is often a spotlight on a
star acting badly. If the behavior leads to a personal
train wreck, all the better. Why is that? Why do stars
publicly act out and why does the public love to see it?
Why do they jeopardize their public image with these public
outbursts and temper tantrums?

Ego.

Self-destructive behavior of any kind by anyone is rooted
in the ego defending itself against threat usually based in
some sort of feeling of being victimized, being made "less
than". Perez Hilton has his power to embarrass and
publicly humiliate celebrities because these very same
celebrities, including Demi Moore, and the general public
gave it to him. Moore added force to Perez's power by
giving his Tweet more energy and distribution with her
response saying that he does not take violating child
pornography laws very seriously. Perez responds to this a
by attacking back with personal insult.

Events in and of themselves hold no power. A tushie shot is
a tushie shot. Period. What a person has an event mean is
what fuels the reaction, that will result in a good or bad
outcome. Having a tushie shot taken in a public place mean
that Perez Hilton supports child pornography is of Moore's
own creation. Perez having Moore's response mean that she
is menopausal, needs medication and lessons in parenting is
all of his own creation. None of these meanings are true.
These attached meanings and assumptions that are given to
events are the fabrication of the ego to make itself feel
better, to feel less victimized.

Truth is, you are a victim to no one and no thing unless
you allow yourself to be. If Demi viewed the photo of her
daughter as just a shot of yet another young girl wearing
short shorts instead of child pornography involving her
daughter there would be no power in Hilton's Tweet. If Demi
didn't like Tallulah's butt hanging out of her shorts she
could have addressed the wardrobe issue with her daughter,
in private. Instead, there are now threats of a law suit
that will also give more steam, energy and attention to the
story and to the continued publication of the young tushie.

If Perez took Demi's reaction to the Tweet as that of a
protective parent rather than a personal accusation that he
is a child pornographer his ego would not rise to
personally attack Demi Moore to hurt or embarrass her
rather than have anything to do with the photo itself.
There would be no pending lawsuit, no more energy given to
the dispute. That would also mean that Perez would pass on
an opportunity to engage a celebrity in a public fight that
only he can win. Whether Perez is right or not is
irrelevant. His ratings, viewership, will rise no matter
what outcome results. Perez wins because the public's ego
loves to see rich and famous celebrities acting badly to
feed their own egos, feelings of inferiority, and to boost
their own self-esteem. "See, these superstar people aren't
any better than me!"

The minute you think any one or any thing (the economy, the
glass ceiling, etc.) has power over you, you become its
victim. Most often, people are the victim of their own
ego, their own Inner Critic. Guess what, your Inner Critic
lies! When you get that fearful, panicky, blood-boiling,
feeling inside and you react from that state know that you
are following the lead of your frighten Inner Critic who is
misguidedly fighting for your own sense of self-worth.
When you are should-ing all over someone or judging
(telling others that they should do or be this or that),
your ego has your power. You are no longer in control.
Whenever you act in the state of an empowered ego you will
not achieve the outcome you desire. All you can do is add
'evidence' to support your feelings of being victimized.

A teenage butt peeking out of short shorts on a public
street is not child pornography and Moore's reaction is not
the result of hormone imbalances or bad parenting. What is
being fought over is a bunch of made up stuff by the very
people who are feuding in the public arena.

To turn self-destructive behavior into life-affirming
behavior just wake up! Wake up to how you feel. Your
emotions are indicators of whether you are listening to
that higher power within you, what I playfully call the
Inner Wizard, or that frightened four-year old, the Inner
Critic, who is having a temper tantrum. In that moment,
mindfully monitor your thoughts. Are you giving up your
power, allowing yourself to become a victim of the
incident? If you are, reach for a new perspective. Take
action that will result in what you want to achieve, no
more publicized daughter's tushie shots, instead of what
you do not want to achieve, more daughter butt shots spread
over even more media outlets.

And to those who salivate over celebrity self-sabotage,
take note over what you have the public outburst mean about
you. If you feel better about yourself, more superior, as
a result of someone else's bad behavior, know that you have
given your power of personal self-esteem over to the
celebrity and to those who report the irrational antics of
these stars.


About the Author:

Valery is a Superstar Mindset Mentor & Coach who teaches
people to tap into their inner power & wisdom, get out of
their own way & fully invest themselves in their creative
endeavors. Clients also learn how to root out
self-sabotaging behavior that can land them on TMZ! Empower
the Wizard Within,http://www.InnerWizard.com Get Free
"Empower the Wizard Within tips"!

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